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How feeling envy helped me in life — mostly
As a child in South Korea, I thought the emotion was a 'sin.' But as a life coach, I've seen it used as an instrument for good.
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Build Confidence by Thinking Like a Scientist
It’s ironic that I’m suggesting that women can build confidence by thinking like a scientist. I was a research scientist for most of my career. During that time, my confidence fell to an all-time low. Perfectionism and confidence Looking back, it was because I was a perfectionist working in academia. Academics are very good at critiquing. They
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How Avoiding Mistakes Can Hold You Back
As a recovering perfectionist, I tend to spend a lot of energy avoiding mistakes. One of my longtime hobbies is knitting. I learned how to knit when I was 10, but it wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I learned an invaluable lesson about mistakes. Up until then, whenever I made a knitting mistake, I couldn’t
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Are you too organized? How to cut yourself some slack
Can we be too organized? I don’t think we ever set out to turn something good into something problematic…. When I was in grade school, I loved Sanrio products. My mother used to drop me off at the stationery section of Shirokiya while she took care of errands in other sections of what used to
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Overcome productivity guilt: How to feel good about how you spend your time
Too many smart and caring people experience “productivity guilt.” Whether you are the CEO of your home or of a company, whether you are caring for children or aging adults, whether you’re employed or volunteering, women who contribute so much of their time and energy to society feel guilty they are not doing more. I’m
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Tame the green-eyed monster within: How to learn from envy
I confess I learn from envy more often than I’d like to admit because I’m often wondering, “Why can’t that be me?” As much as I have tried to be candid about my embarrassing shortcomings (like believing electric fans are deadly, hoarding condiments, and taking things for granted), I haven’t been forthcoming on the subject
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How to put yourself on battery-life preservation mode
Every now and then, I forget to put myself on “battery-life preservation mode” or low power mode. I overextend myself, staying up too late. Convinced that if I just finish this “one little thing,” I’ll have taken something off of my overloaded plate and will feel better. In the back of my mind, I know
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How to feel less overwhelmed: Quiet your inner critic
When trying to figure out how to feel less overwhelmed, it’s hard because a lot of things will seem they are not within your control. But, your mind is… What makes you smart can hurt you When things go wrong, the astute can’t help but think through what happened, identify what the options are, and
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How to become a recovering perfectionist
I admit I am a recovering perfectionist. You can become one too. When I was in school (and I was in school for a very, very long time), I tried to be the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter, and the perfect big sister. I got married and strived to be the perfect
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Permission to Shine: From Bragging to Being Proud
Women and girls who lack confidence need to grant themselves permission to shine. But for the smart and caring, who shun bragging, this is not so easy to do. One of my daughters was preparing a speech to other members of a club at her school, hoping to be elected as their leader. To prove
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Bad Advice for Imposter Syndrome: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Common maxis can become bad advice for imposter syndrome. Having worked with so many smart and caring women (re)build their confidence, I know what works instead. This is Part 3 of a series on alternatives to making plans and beating yourself up–two things that become obstacles to getting unstuck. . Check out Part 1, Part
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Between Selfish and Selfless Lies the Happiness Sweet Spot
Women tend to struggle with self-promotion because it’s not easy to find the sweet spot between selfish and selfless. Lately, I have been hearing more women say they feel a lot of pressure to promote themselves: Many women need to advocate for themseves so that their hard work and time investments are recognized. Sadly too
